this morning... i went to morning round as usual..then after finish round, i want to go to 3u (female surgery ward)..when i reach to a door that need us to scan the matrix card..i FAILED.....urghhh...during that time i wonder why...suddenly i saw that...my matrix card had broke into two...(even not in pieces yet) haiihh...
then went to OT..me and my friends..dila n zati...just observed 1 op..which is laparoscopy appendicectomy...then we plus 2 4th yr students...had been asked with a lot of Qs by anaesthesiology and emergency doctors..ahaha i managed to answer the Q by guessing and goreng2 (camna mau jadik doc...suka sgt try n error kat diri sndri...)it was fun though... =) thanx doctors..
ahhaa...then..i went to clinic..but full house already XDD
huhuhu then balik la apa lgi...(dalam hati..malasnya aku yg final ye nih)
i went to pejabat pendaftar to ask about the m3x card...RM60 to replace for a new card...huaaaaa this is a crucial time for me....i dont have enough money as JPA is not receive yet..(sabar sabar)
i called my hubby to tell him about this..i end up with he mad at me...(so saaddd...pity of me..)
i know it was my fault la...degil taknak tnya...i dont like to be messy with people around me..if i need to pay after a few Qs..then,that's it...i have to pay...tomorrow..insyaAllah..i'll go to bank islam to make a new ATM card (old one was 2 in 1 card)..and make a new matrix card..
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
this evening..it is very sunny..nice to see the blue sky...the chirping birds...i missed to go for a walk...jogs for sometimes..recently i loss my interest in aerobics...dont know why....i like to imagine my future...what if i never meant to reach the goal before the time...ajal maut d tgn Allah kan?? we dont know when is our time..
i dont know why im saying this...i just want to say it..to make me realize that...life is short...appreciate all things surround u..
i dont like myself when i make someone i love much hurt...i really dont like and sometimes i hate myself...
i never meant....never....
i cant yell..
i cant shout...
what can i do is crying just to release myself from the tense...
i feel like to fly now....to swim (but i dont know how XP)...to run (but my kaki sakit)....to sing...(always in my room)...to dance...many things to do...i need a vacation....i want to go a place with full of peace....nature...
my heart is tumbling...rumbling...beating...pounding...too many...sampai i feel sooooooo tight to breath....
it always makes me alert and conscious...istighfar bnyk3....
the feelings that i felt today...yesterday...anytime..is sometimes is the satan whispers...always remember Allah to have the piece of mind....insyaAllah...once we always remember Allah...Allah will remember us ...insyaAllah...
be strong...the days, just around the corner....
a lot of prays...
p/s : ain...be strong...
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