too many thoughts to think of...astahgfirullah..

lately i have this kind of problems...suddenly my head/mind had running of thoughts...too many of it..im afraid i may face depression...Ya Allah selamatkanlah hambaMu ini....semoga kami dirahmati dan dilindungi...
i really dont know why it is happening now...why????
i have a difficulty in initiate sleep but somehow..sometimes i can sleep easily too esp in classes...
what can i say..
what can i do...
just be strong...
nowadays..i like to curse myself...why???again why???to make sure others satisfied???
i lost...im losing myself...ain please come back to the tract...bnykan doa ain...be positive...
sabar....patience....
ooo i missed my school life...
i missed home...
i missed cooking....
i missed watching TV...
i missed quarreling with siblings...
i missed babbling..
i missed everything...
i missed my HUBBY....

i wanna finish this posting and wait for JPA scholar to be in my pocket then i want to go shopping...

emmm...

ain...
please...
find back the strength...
u should be urself
be positive...
try to get back the spirit...
u have to have it..
dont lose it....
dont get lost...
find the way back home...
Allah is always there for us...ask from Allah... a lot of prays....
insyaAllah...everything will be okay...

p/s: amalkanlah istighfar dan zikir ktika mhadapi musibah....ganbatte!!!!!

sabar je la...

this morning... i went to morning round as usual..then after finish round, i want to go to 3u (female surgery ward)..when i reach to a door that need us to scan the matrix card..i FAILED.....urghhh...during that time i wonder why...suddenly i saw that...my matrix card had broke into two...(even not in pieces yet) haiihh...

then went to OT..me and my friends..dila n zati...just observed 1 op..which is laparoscopy appendicectomy...then we plus 2 4th yr students...had been asked with a lot of Qs by anaesthesiology and emergency doctors..ahaha i managed to answer the Q by guessing and goreng2 (camna mau jadik doc...suka sgt try n error kat diri sndri...)it was fun though... =) thanx doctors..

ahhaa...then..i went to clinic..but full house already XDD

huhuhu then balik la apa lgi...(dalam hati..malasnya aku yg final ye nih)

i went to pejabat pendaftar to ask about the m3x card...RM60 to replace for a new card...huaaaaa this is a crucial time for me....i dont have enough money as JPA is not receive yet..(sabar sabar)

i called my hubby to tell him about this..i end up with he mad at me...(so saaddd...pity of me..)

i know it was my fault la...degil taknak tnya...i dont like to be messy with people around me..if i need to pay after a few Qs..then,that's it...i have to pay...tomorrow..insyaAllah..i'll go to bank islam to make a new ATM card (old one was 2 in 1 card)..and make a new matrix card..

*      *       *       *      *        *       *      *         *        *          *          *        *      *       *      *

this evening..it is very sunny..nice to see the blue sky...the chirping birds...i missed to go for a walk...jogs for sometimes..recently i loss my interest in aerobics...dont know why....i like to imagine my future...what if i never meant to reach the goal before the time...ajal maut d tgn Allah kan?? we dont know when is our time..

i dont know why im saying this...i just want to say it..to make me realize that...life is short...appreciate all things surround u..

i dont like myself when i make someone i love much hurt...i really dont like and sometimes i hate myself...

i never meant....never....

i cant yell..

i cant shout...

what can i do is crying just to release myself from the tense...

i feel like to fly now....to swim (but i dont know how XP)...to run (but my kaki sakit)....to sing...(always in my room)...to dance...many things to do...i need a vacation....i want to go a place with full of peace....nature...

my heart is tumbling...rumbling...beating...pounding...too many...sampai i feel sooooooo tight to breath....

it always makes me alert and conscious...istighfar bnyk3....

the feelings that i felt today...yesterday...anytime..is sometimes is the satan whispers...always remember Allah to have the piece of mind....insyaAllah...once we always remember Allah...Allah will remember us ...insyaAllah...

be strong...the days, just around the corner....

a lot of prays...

p/s  : ain...be strong...

rindunyeeeeeeee (^^,)

huhuhu...nothing to say.....
BUT...
i just want to say that...i MISSED my hubby....
nak balik...
nak jumpa abg..


ooppssss...
what am i  doing ...???
ahha..it feels like there is sumthing wrong sumwhere...XDD
i really missed him..although it is just a week passed after the raya haji holiday... missed him sooo much...

p/s: i am sorry ye dear friends...ehee...it is just me..i feel like shouting.. XP

nvm...i want to do a lot of things.then i want to go back...really want to....

i missed u abg.....really...soo much...

Ya Allah..lindungilah suamiku....

today is not really packed day...but we have class with dr.leow...till 3.15 pm...i feel sleepy yet..i love the way he taught us =) thanx doc..
then..i went back to hostel to hv some rest...coz tonite i'll go to oncall...ehehe..
a bit tired..but what else can i do..i hv to be strong enough to face this... =)
i want to make sure my hubby proud of me..
talking about my hubby..after asar prayer..i watched nenek kebaya..it is final episode ehehe...
and i went to buy bihun goreng mamak for my dinner ( i put on some weight XDD ) then i went to my room and looking at my hp..there was 3 missed calls from my hubby...and a message..
he told me that he had involved in an accident...Ya Allah...my heartbeats beat loudly...i can hear it's pounding inside...i called him immediately..alhamdulillah..he saved...i really thanked Allah..
a kancil car suddenly break his car while he wanted to pass the red light...my hubby was at the back tried to slow his bike then had crushed on its back...the front light of the bike was gone into pieces and he felled down and alhamdulillah there was nothing bad injuries...
i ask him not to ride the back anymore...if want to..then please be careful..i really worry about him...
i hope and pray for his safety..insyaAllah


p/s: Ya Allah...Kaulah Maha Pnyayang...lg Maha Besar lg Maha Berkuasa...lindungilah suamiku walau di mana jua dia berada...amiinnn

p/s: sorry if there is a lot of grammar errors =P

eid adha 2009~

just to share some of the pics that managed to snap during this aidil adha...(^__^)

my hubby... (^^,)

ahahah..it is me..

us..ainammar & ammarain..

with my sis and auntie(guess..guess..)

kak ngah (left) and kak lang (right)

yeah....this is my auntie...makcik sharmiela

this is my mom...puan zaiton aka maklong..

4 of us at umah tok jah (ayah's mother) at padang meiha..

p/s: my hubby said that.. we have same SIZE...oooppsss i guess i am a BIT small than them..ehehe jgn marah aaaaaaaaaaa.....ehehehhee

bertolak ansur...toleration...

this title....makes me wonder...
it is very important to have this value in yourself..or else..u'll lose yourself later...
it is not good to be selfish...but if in a good way...for ur own good...may it is acceptable..

this is a story goes...
2 persons...with different character...
1 is egoist...
1 is independent yet can be fair..
meet each other...
the independent always cannot go along with the stubborn one..
however...the independent knows...they are made for each other....
the independent knows how to negotiate and give some face to them....

this situation..i met a lot in my life...
from my primary school till now...
im glad that my parents taught me to tolerate and be independent....
i dont mean those words to specific person...it is just my opinions..
Allah made us into different persons...different characters..just to complete each other...
LIFE is NOT boring...
LIFE is wonderful....
be positive...then u'll see the beautiful of LIFE....
don't simply judge people ( ain..remember that...don't just know to write and read but understand what did u write k...)
every persons have their own reasons to react like this and like that...(i experienced myself during this 1st week of surgical posting...alhamdulillah thanks Allah coz lead me to this perception....)

me..sometimes...simply judge people...i dont know why...but my woman's mind always make me think negative then the positive follow...itupun after a while...

i realise...NOW...
we..people...have a GOAL to achieve...that's why,some of us react to be "selfish" but then..they NEVER mean it all to be in that way...(^__^) i smile to myself...and say..."ain...be urself...and remember what ur hubby told u that day..."

hubby told me "...kita jgn suka bgantung pada org lain sgt..kena berdikari...tp..ingat jgn sombong...nti org tak nak dekat ngn kita, Allah marah...kita ni hamba yg kerdil....Allah tu lg Maha Besar lg Maha Berkuasa...."

i love u hubby....i love u soooo much...im glad that Allah met us again (^__^) really cant believe that we met again and now, we are husband and wife....

i guess i need to stop for a while...nak smbung wat presentation.. =)

p/s : i feel relieve.....a LOt...alhamdulillah....please blogging again....

modified oreo cheese cake..yummy

this is my 1st time cheese cake..ehehe (b4 ni wat kek batik je...)
sonok sgt dpt makan cheese cake..tp..tak bnyk..and bhn3 pon ada modified...ehehe tp sedapp!!

boleh try same2...

base : oreo 30 kpg (kisar halus dan buangkan krim) + 1/4 butter (cairkan)

filling : 1/4 cream cheese (cairkan), 1/4 sour cream, 1/2 gula halus, telur 2 biji, oreo (pecahkan kecil2)

cara2 membuat base: cairkan butter td dan adunkan bersama kisaran halus oreo td..tekapkan pada loyang yg telah digriskan..

cara2 membuat filling : cairkan cream cheese bersama sour cream dan gula halus...gaul sehingga sebati..masukkan telur satu persatu dan gaul sebati..
masukkan pecahan2 oreo ke dlm adunan td dan gaul balikkan dan masukkan ke dalam loyang berisi base td..masukkan kedalam oven..180 degree secara steam bake..(loyang berisi cake di dlm loyang berisi air) (saya stimkan adunan) tunggu dalam 30 - 45 minit).. kemudian sejukkan dalam peti sejuk slama 4 jam semalaman...selamat mencuba...

ehehe leh tmbh corn flakes and choc rice...ikut kreativiti

yummy.. (^__^)